If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't think brook has ever known best
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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