Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Bring me that man meat
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
