Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
