I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
