i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
