I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
