Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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