no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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