I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
