yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
