There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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