haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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