i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
