With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize