watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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