Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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