Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize