are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
