why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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