dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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