sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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