Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize