Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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