I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
