i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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