his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
