the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
