Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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