He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
