everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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