So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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