I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
