you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
