My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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