I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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