Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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