Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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