There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
