thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
