brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
