Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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