You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
