no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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