I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
