why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
