Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
