my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we're making bets on your personal life
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
