This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
