i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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