when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
