i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
