he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize