You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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