im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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