When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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