yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
