So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
