Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
