how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
