I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
