Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
