I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
