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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

  Fav 17 5166 1759

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable

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