hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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