Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?