i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable