Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...