I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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