Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
