I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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