ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
